Reset your nervous system before you turn the key

Larry Burton suggests regulating your state in the car before entering the house to prevent old household cues from triggering stress responses (Larry Burton from Empowered Self-Help). This sixty-second practice, which he calls the Holiday Settle, requires pressing your feet into the floor, placing a hand on your chest, and exhaling longer than you inhale three times (Larry Burton from Empowered Self-Help). By anchoring your attention on one thing you are glad to see, you signal safety to your nervous system before your children or family members demand your attention.

This technique leverages the vagus nerve, which responds to sensory signals like the weight of your body and the rhythm of your breath to shift you out of a fight-or-flight state. When you enter the home after this reset, you carry a fresh signal of calm rather than the residue of your workday, allowing you to engage with your family as yourself. If you lack a full minute, pressing your feet into the ground and taking one long exhale on the front step provides a similar, if shorter, anchor.

The nervous system learns through consistent repetition rather than one-off efforts, so applying this transition on a quiet Tuesday helps your body recognize the signal when higher-stakes moments arise. This approach moves you from reactive firefighting toward a more intentional presence, as the physical shift changes the signal your body sends to your brain before you even greet your children (Too Much, Too Soon).